Melody of My Heart
by chocolatecatcupcakecheese
Summary: There's someone new in Varia, and she's turning HQ into a hell on earth! This will be a romance later, after I grow a backbone. Xanxus x OC, with a little Hibari and Bel on the side. Jealousy is delicious. I love constructive criticism! This is my first multi-chaptered story, and the first REAL romance-y story I've written, so please be overly harsh and truthful in reviews. Enjoy!


Ciaossu, chocolatecatcupcakecheese here! At long last, the first chapter of the fanfiction that's been eclipsing everything else in my head is OUT! Whee, the boring part is written, so now I just have Chapter 2 (which is, like, ONE HUGE ACTION SCENE =_=) to write, and from then on, it should be Connect Plotbunnies and smooth sailing forever until the end... Which, after at least three years of daydreaming, I have planned out already, *evil laugh*.

Much thanks to everyone at NekoCon; you people filled me with mirth and inspiration and all the happy emotions I needed to finally put finger-to-touchscreen. I luvs you all so much, especially all of the Doctor Who cosplayers (11!) and definitely Tsunayoshi, and Adult!Reborn and Adult!Hibari cosplayers. *still squealing* YOU ARE AWESOME! DOMO, DOMO ARIGATO!

Just BTW, this is not a songfic. The lyrics(I OWN NOTHING, NADA OF THESE) at the beginning of each chapter are merely songs I heard different places that reminded me of this story (eclipsing everything else in my head, this thing)...

Disclaimer: I own only the Mangena and assorted NYC hangers-on; everyone else is property of AMANO Akira. Even and especially Hibari Kyoya. *sniffle* No Hibari paraphernalia for me, I wasted my money at the Con. Also, I have nothing against Justin Bieber, okay? Don't hurt me.

Enjoy, and please review! I need (non-family) opinions, especially on writing my POV. You get cake in return. German chocolate flavor, properly with sauerkraut included :D (sounds weird but when made properly, delish!)

* * *

**Chapter 1: Midnight Meeting**

_"Hey now, you're an all-star_

_Get your game on_

_Go play_

_Hey now, you're a rock star_

_Get the show on_

_Get paid_

_All that glitters is gold_

_Only shootin' stars break the mold..."_

- "All Star" by Smash Mouth

* * *

Xanxus

"Hey, Boss," Superbi Squalo said, bursting into the room, pushing back a lock of his long, silver hair. "I did some research on the name mentioned by our target last week. Apparently this person isn't very well known, or keeps to the shadows a lot, because all I found in connection with 'Kuroakumu' was the name 'Mangena.' When I looked that up, I found two entries: the address of an office building in New York City and a café in Beverly Hills, California. When I asked one of the Vongola Famiglia's agents in America, he told me that Kuroakumu is an assassin, one very good at what he does. He has never been caught disposing of a target, and his methods are very clean. His targets all seem to disappear with no trace but the Japanese kanji for his codename carved someplace nearby.

"So, then, Boss. Should I go try to recruit him for the Varia, or—"

"Shut up. Damn shark." A shotglass full of scotch flew through the air and hit him upside the head, shattering, leaving Squalo with shards of crystal and very expensive alcohol dripping from his hair. "VOOOOOOIII!" he spluttered. "You stupid shitty boss! Now I have to wash my hair all over again! Do you know how many bottles of shampoo I've used in the last week?! Quit using me as your fucking target practice; throw shit at Levi or Bel! You—"

"I don't care what you do, damn shark. Get out of my sight, my head aches."

Squalo scowled. "Yes, Xanxus. I'll take some people and go to America, and—" He dodged a coffee table. "Voiii, I'm going, I'm going!" He left the room, muttering curses and expletives under his breath as he went.

The Varia boss sighed. I'm surrounded by a bunch of fucking idiots, he thought, and drifted back toward slumber.

* * *

Squalo

"Ushishishi!" Prince the Ripper laughed his signature laugh, grinning like a Cheshire cat at the way all the people on the New York City sidewalks parted ways for him and the rest of his group. All of the passerby seemed to get that elusive little tickle of fear as they entered the vicinity of the strolling Italians.

"Voooooi, Belphegor, could you at least try to cover up that murderous aura of yours, just a bit? You're scaring everybody. We're *trying* to keep a low profile, dammit!" A few nearby pedestrians stared at the source of the sudden, loud burst of Italian speech, then quickly looked away as its intended target grinned toothily around at them.

"Shishi, you're too uptight, Captain Squalo. Relax and have some fun~!"

"Mu, Bel," Mammon said suddenly. Everyone looked down at the tiny Arcobaleno, who had been quiet for the whole trip thus far. "Quit leering at the passerby. They're shying away, and I can't pick pockets."

"Shishishishi! I didn't know you had such criminal tendencies, baby."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, fake prince."

"Oh? You wanna go, peasant? I'll wipe the floor up and down with your... face." Bel pulled a shiny handful of his intricate throwing knives from someplace on his person, grinning widely.

"Bring it, you blonde Beiber bimbo." The shadows around Mammon started flickering about weirdly, their shapes suggesting spiky, sharp things and eerie, misshapen creatures passing by.

"Bel, Mammon, quit with the name calling, please~!" Lussuria fretted, fluttering his hands. "It's making my mohawk droop, and anyway, there's a group of police officers standing across the way looking suspicious~!"

"Shut it, gay freak," the two snapped in unison, but both put away the knives and illusions.

"Everyone's a homophobe," Lussuria sighed wearily.

"We're almost to that American family's HQ that Araldo told us about," Squalo said, flipping his long silver hair back over his shoulder as if nothing was happening. "We all know, based on the incident with that info broker earlier today, that my English is the best of all of us—" Squalo stopped, turned on his heel, and shoved his hand in Belphegor's face before his protest could leave his mouth, "—At least in terms of polite conversation. All of you, shut up while I talk to these people. I don't feel like having to fight a bunch of people because one of you insulted someone. Understood?" Squalo whirled back around with a swish of silver hair and kept walking, not waiting for an answer.

There was a smatter of grumbling throughout the group, but it was quite quickly quelled when the swordsman stopped and glared over his shoulder at them all.

* * *

The Varia stepped out of the pouring rain and into the giant marble entry hall and looked around. "Shishishi, shiny!" Bel chirped, eying the crystal chandelier with evil glee. Squalo glared at him and strode confidently to the front desk. "Good afternoon," he greeted the receptionist politely, "We wish to speak to Ms. Alice Mangena."

The boy looked up, shook his long, unkempt black hair out of his eyes and marked his place in the book he was reading. Manga? The guy looks to be in his twenties, and he's still reading comic books? What a wuss. Squalo flipped his hair over his shoulder and looked down his nose at the boy, now confident in his abilities. This one is _obviously_ a small fry, so if he doesn't cooperate, he should be easily disposed of, Squalo mused.

The boy raised an eyebrow at Squalo's haughty expression. "Oh? Who's inquiring?"

"Vongola Famiglia's Independent Assassination Squad, Varia." Now watch the little boy quiver in fear. If the idiot even knows who we are, but then he can be taught...

"Mafia, then. Hmm," the boy sighed, unintimidated, looking past Squalo at the group of rain-drenched assassins with zero change in his eyes at all, "do you have an appointment?"

"No," Squalo said curtly, tapping his fingers on the counter. His opinion of the boy rose by an infinitesimal amount. "Do we need one?"

The boy snickered, covering his grin with his hand. Squalo heard a little _"squee!"_ from behind him and briefly wondered what Lussuria was doing. "Mmm, no, you don't. Not really. Why do you wish to see Lady Alice?"

_Lady?_ How old is this woman? Squalo wondered. "The Varia has a proposition for Kuroakumu. We wish to discuss it with the head of his family first, however."

"Ha. Kuro doesn't work well with others. Best of luck with that, Barbie boy." Squalo twitched. Damn twerp. "But, I am not sure whether Lady Alice is in right now. One moment." The boy plucked a wireless phone from its base and hit speed dial. "Ah. Yuki-chan. Is Alice here...? Because Varia has come to call on her... It's about Kuro... Yes... Yes, yes I did that too... Hmm," the boy grinned crookedly at Squalo and stretched, "no, I don't think they pose much of a threat... Ah... Really? Yes... Right, I will bring them straight up, then. Could you send someone to mind the desk...? Arigato, kitten... Later." Kitten? What the hell, Squalo snorted. The boy hung up the phone. "All of you, please follow me, then," he addressed Squalo. He stood, kicked his chair under the desk, tucked the book in a drawer, and strode across the room past the rows of gilt-framed mirrors decorating the walls to the pair of elevators at the rear of the hall, his long strides quickly outdistancing Squalo and the rest, forcing some in the party of assassins to half-jog after him. "Uppity brat," Bel muttered, "I'll slit his throat the first chance I get."

"Go ahead, you can kill me now if you'd like," the boy smiled serenely and pressed the call button. "Just know that Kurenairan-chan and Kuro will have all of your heads before my body is even cold." The elevator doors opened with a ding and he held them open, stepping in last and pressing the sixth floor button.

The doors opened on a long hallway. Whitewashed walls, industrial carpeting, paintings hung here and there. A little table with a potted plant. All signs pointed to normal, hardly suggesting the secret base of the woman whom Squalo had heard was _supposedly_ the most feared and influential person in New York's underworld. Where were all the guards? Squalo absentmindedly mused about what kind of appearance this Alice Mangena had. Probably some middle-aged bat of a businesswoman, he imagined, pulling all the strings from her office.

Just in case, Squalo took note of any possible escape routes. To the end of the hall (big window there) and to the right (stairs were at the end of that hall), right, left (another window here), left, to the door at the end of the hall. Frosted glass revealed nothing of the interior. The boy knocked on the door. When there was no answer, he gently turned the handle and peeked inside. A black-and-gray-striped tabby cat shot out between his legs and scampered down the hall and around the corner, a green knitted sock in its mouth, followed closely by a orange bi-color with a bow around its neck.

Aw, hell, Squalo scowled, she's probably an old lady with fifty cats running around everywhere. Shit, his allergies were going to flare up again... All that fur and dander and cat piss... Damn.

The boy put a finger to his lips. "Lady Alice is talking on the phone. You can come in and sit down but please be quiet." He held the door open and ushered them in.

What a surprise. Everything was bright and airy, with plump black leather couches, matching set of glass-topped tables and a huge desk of steel and glass set in front of the floor-to-ceiling tinted glass windows stretching the length of one wall. The faint bitter smell of green tea pervaded the room. The art decorating the walls was sparse, mostly landscapes and abstract pieces. The giant desk was uncluttered, leaving plentiful room for the gleaming MacBook and wireless telephone base, oriental vase full of white daffodils, and the green bamboo-patterned Japanese tea set. Squalo noted that there were _three_ teacups set up, one by each of the little modern-style leather chairs in front of the desk, and one set beside the MacBook. Ms. Mangena had been having tea.

"Yes, of course I understand," Ms. Mangena snapped. "You need 'more time' so you can think up a plan to get out of our deal. Well, forget about it. I'm tired of waiting. We invested a lot of money in your company and I want our fair share of the profits. Uh-huh... Of course, Jacques, we can figure out something new. Just let me send Kuro-san over, and you two can talk as long as you can stand! ...Uh-huh. I'm sure that's so... Ahhh, how long? Uh-huh? Ohhhhh, wonderful! Il est un plaisir de faire affaire avec vous. Au revoir, Monsieur Jacques. J'ai hâte de lui~!" The phone beeped, ending the call. Ms. Mangena sang a little song and pushed various buttons on the phone, probably deleting the call history or something. "Alouette, gentille Alouette. Alouette je te plumerai~ Je te plumerai la tête... Et la tête, et la tête, Ohhhh~" Then she reached back and replaced the phone on its charger with a slim, pale hand clad in a fishnet glove and with a multitude of squiggly colorful rubber bands. Squalo's internal stream of disparaging thoughts about Alice Mangena's probable age and appearance screeched to a halt, then disappeared altogether as the high backed chair swiveled around. Holy shit, she was young! She slouched in the chair, bangs of her perfectly layered black hair sliding into her eyes, the two blonde streaks very visible in contrast. The fluffy lacy skirt of her black dress was riding up her thighs just a bit, showing the tops of black-and-white striped stockings and shapely legs. And the top of the dress was low-cut so all could glimpse that wonderful rack. Squalo whistled. She fixed him with blue, blue eyes rimmed thickly with eyeliner. Hoo, that glare is just a little scary, Squalo thought gleefully. She's got spirit. They commenced a silent staredown, both trying to find a weakness in the other. She broke away first, turning her head to the side and covering her mouth. "I don't know how else to ask this, but are you a guy or a gal?" she murmured. What? She's laughing. What? "VOOOOIII! What the HELL?! I'm a MAN!" Squalo shouted.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry, sweetie. Didn't mean to upset you." Alice Mangena grinned widely. "Soooo, visitors from Italy! I love Italian things: Italian food, Italian cars— _love_ my Aventador," Her gaze drifted to Belphegor, "and Italian boys... How can I help you today, gentlemen? Come closer, have a seat."

"Ushishishishi! _You're_ Alice Mangena?" Bel asked. "You look awfully young. How'd you get to the top so fast? Did you f—" Squalo backhanded the brat faster than you could blink, putting an end to his snarkyness.

Alice watched the whole exchange silently. "I take it you're the one in charge?" she said, not really a question.

Squalo stepped up to the desk. "Yes. Superbi Squalo, of Varia." He offered his hand, and Alice stood and took it, unexpectedly squeezing the life out of his fingers. Squalo reciprocated. Her hand was small and slender, with calluses on the palm and insides of the fingers. She obviously handled weapons.

"Wonderful to make your acquaintance, Mister Squalo. I am Alice Mangena. You may call me Alice."

"Hn. Just call me Squalo."

She loosened her death-grip on his hand and he released his grip on hers. "This is Belphegor," he indicated the surly teenager nursing the split lip he deserved, "Lussuria," the skinny she-man with the green and purple Mohawk and pink feather boa he'd refused to leave behind in the hotel room, "and Mammon," the creepy frickin' baby illusionist all dressed in black.

"Wonderful. It's nice to meet you all. But may I ask why so many of the Varia's executives are present?"

"They were bored." Squalo shot a dirty look at them all.

"Mhmm. Please, have a seat, Squalo. I've been informed that you wish to discuss Kuro-chan...?" She sat back in her chair, crossing her legs.

"Yes, ma'am. Varia has heard good things about Kuroakumu and we want him to join our organization."

Alice giggled. "Your intel is flawed, Squalo. I'll tell you two things. First, Kuro is called 'Kuro _no_ Akumu', or Kuro no Sakura. Your knowledge of proper Japanese grammar and syntax obviously needs some work. Second, you are probably wasting your time here because most likely _she_ has no wish to join your 'organization', as you so inadequately called it."

"Wait, 'she'? What— so Kuroa— Kuro _no_ Akumu is a woman, then?"

Alice laughed. "Well, yes. What kind of self-respecting man would call himself 'black cherry blossom'?"

"I know a few," Squalo said sourly.

"Oh? I'd like to meet them sometime."

"There's one such wuss over here, shishi—OW!" Bel yelped as both Lussuria and Mammon simultaneously elbowed him in the ribs.

Alice tucked her hair behind her ear, barely hiding irritation. "I actually prefer to use women where assassination is involved. Being of the fairer sex, we can easily infiltrate places where a man cannot— "

"Like the bedroom?" Bel interrupted, that huge creepy grin splitting his face in two, causing his lip to start bleeding anew.

Alice fixed him with those blue eyes. "—And when we kill, women are merciful. We don't delight in the pain of others as men do. Women don't rape or maim. They get the job done quickly and cleanly, causing the least amount of suffering."

"Why won't she join us?" Squalo jumped back to the topic at hand.

"She doesn't want to."

"Why not?"

Alice sat back in her chair and rested her elbows on the armrests, crossing her legs the other way and steepling her fingers. "I can tell you now that Kuro no Akumu has no desire to kill for money, and certainly she doesn't want to make a career out of it."

"Again, why not? Isn't that already her career? She's supposedly the absolute best assassin of the 21st century here in the United States. Why not make a name for herself on the other side of the world, too? Kuro no Akumu could become one of the best assassins in Europe and Asia, too."

"Because Kuro no Akumu doesn't _need_ the other side of the world. She works for the Mangena and is perfectly happy here."

"Oh?" Squalo cocked an eyebrow. "Do you know this for sure? Or are you guessing?"

Alice sighed, her eyes moving to the shaggy-haired boy. "Get my papers off the printer, please, Ryan, and file them correctly," she said in a tone that brooked no argument.

"Yes, m'lady," Ryan murmured, and disappeared through a side door, leaving it slightly ajar. He follows orders from her without question, Squalo noted. And she doesn't even have to yell or throw things, unlike my shitty damn boss.

"I actually don't know," Alice sighed, turning back to Squalo. "Truthfully, I can't speak for Kuro, so I will ask her. Please excuse me a moment." She reached down the front of her dress and pulled her smartphone out.

"Shishishi, like a magic trick," Bel chirped. "What else have you got shoved down there, you s—" Lussuria elbowed him in the gut, while Alice ignored him completely, her thumbs tapping away at her touchscreen. There was a small 'schawoop' and she smiled, then turned the screen off, setting the phone facedown on the desk.

"And?" Bel piped.

She fixed him with a cool glare. "And, now we wait." She steepled her fingers again and gazed at her teacup. "While we are waiting, would you all like something to drink?" she offered.

"Do you have any whiskey?" Squalo wanted something strong to drink, and craved the burn of alcohol sliding down his throat.

"Mmm, no, sorry. The only alcohol I keep is Bärenjäger, and that is for sore throats and emergencies only. I have tea of all kinds, coffee, Coke, cream soda, root beer, and water, of course."

"It _**IS**_ an emergency," Squalo scowled.

"Ah. Brats pushing your buttons?" Alice offered a bright smile like the sun suddenly coming out from behind the clouds. "Heh. Honey liqueur it is, then, dear. And for you three?" she addressed the others.

"Water, please~"

"The Prince wants cream soda."

"...Coffee. Black. Make it strong."

"Hmm. Just how I like mine!" Alice stood slowly and stretched languidly. Squalo watched the hem of her dress closely. Ah. No luck. But he wondered what the two ends of thick black ribbon were for, dangling from under her dress beside her right leg.

"So the infant drinks his coffee black. Aren't you rather young for that?" Alice walked around her desk, stepping silently in striped-stocking feet to a door on the opposite side of the room from where Ryan had gone. She paused and rested her hand on the handle. "Unless, of course, you're older than you appear?" she looked at the illusionist. "Like one of the _Arcobaleno_, perhaps?"

"Mu... Who knows?" Mammon said cryptically, eyes glinting under the shadow of his hat as he met her gaze.

Alice giggled again. "Of course you won't tell!" She opened the door, revealing another brightly-lit room, with a flat-screen television mounted on the wall not far from the edge of a grey marble countertop, on which Squalo saw a coffeemaker and a microwave. She moved out of sight, which made Squalo uncomfortable to say the least, so he listened to her moving around while he watched the door the other one had disappeared into. There came the *clink-clink* of ceramic, then the unmistakable sound of a refrigerator door, and the slightly higher-pitched *tink-tink* of glass bottles. The fridge door closed and she re-emerged. "Belphegor. Would you like your cream soda in the bottle or in a glass with ice?"

"Pour it over ice."

"Ice in your water, Lussuria?"

"No, thank you."

There was more clinking of glass, the sound of water pouring, the clink of ice cubes and the hiss of soda opening. Soda fizzing. _Pa-chuh_, sound of liquid pouring, _pa-chun_**:** acoffeepot. Solid thumps as the glasses were deposited probably on a tray. A quiet slithering sound, like metal on metal. Then Alice came back into the room with a drink-laden tea tray, and Squalo did not miss the glint of something metal peeking from beneath her skirt. The black ribbon was shorter, too. So she is probably scared of us, since she's pulling out a weapon. Alice passed out the drinks, then went back into the other room for the alcohol. A cabinet creaked open, glass tinked, and the cabinet door closed. She came back into the room with two crystal tumblers and a bear-shaped bottle of golden liquor. She unloaded the tray at the edge of the desk and replaced all of the tea dishes on it, then took it back into the other room where she set it all down out of sight and exited, closing the door behind her.

Alice poured a generous dose of liquor for Squalo and about half that amount for herself. "Auf Deutschland," she murmured and drank.

Squalo tipped it all back at the same time Alice's cell phone went off with her ringtone:

_"We're goin' out tonight_

_To kick out ev'ry light_

_Do anything we want_

_Take everything in sight_

_We're goin' 'til the world stops burnin' while we burn it to the ground toniiiiiiight..."_**(1)**

Squalo spluttered and tried to cough up the little bit of alcohol he'd breathed in surprise. Behind him, Lussuria was coughing also, and Bel reached over and slapped the hell out of his back.

"Hey, Alice— Lady Alice, you should really change that ringtone. It scares the... _heck_ out of everyone but you. Have pity on us normal humans." Ryan exited the side room and shut the door behind him. "These need your attention," he set a sizeable stack of papers down on her desk, then stepped over and stood at attention beside her, waiting patiently. Alice ignored him, tapping away at her phone. It went 'schawoop' again and she set it down.

"Okay, Squalo. Kuro says she's intrigued, and will consider your offer. She wants to give you her answer in person, at midnight tomorrow. I'll write down the location for you, one moment." Alice slid open a drawer and pulled out a sticky notepad. She scribbled down two street names then stuck the paper to Squalo's outstretched hand. "She'll meet you there, at that intersection. If you don't show by five minutes past midnight, she goes home and the answer to your offer is automatically 'no'. Do you understand, gentlemen?"

"We do. Thank you for your time, Alice," Squalo smiled, stood and shook her hand once more, a little nicer than before. "Goodbye. Please tell... Kuro... that I look forward to our rendezvous."

"Consider it done! Ryan. Show them out."

"Yes, m'lady. Please follow m-UH!" Ryan turned to walk out and ran smack into Lussuria.

"OH MY GOSH I CAN'T STAND IT HE'S SOOOOO CUTE!" Lussuria squealed and glomped the surprised boy. "Oooooooh, you're just my type! Captain Squalo, can I keep him?"

"No." Not again.

"Uh. What? What are— Your type, what?" Ryan gasped, struggling to breathe.

Lussuria pressed his forehead against Ryan's and glared straight into his eyes. The latter gulped. "I'm going to take you home," Lussuria promised seriously.

"Um, actually," Ryan turned his face to the side, struggling to escape from the Varia Sun Guardian's Embrace of Steel (R), "I like girls."

"And I appreciate beauty in all its forms. Gender is no problem for me. I can 'swing both ways,' as the saying goes~!"

"I only swing one way and that's toward girls! I— I have a girlfriend!" he said this last like a ward against...vampires or mohawks or something.

"Awwww, but _I_ will be your girlfriend when you're dead and cold~ A little formaldehyde and I can love you forever! You can join the rest of my collection of beautiful people~!"

"A-actually, I think I have to say no to that..."

"Why~?"

A cold voice spoke from beside Lussuria. "Because Ryan is mine." Everyone looked at the short little asian girl clad in yukata, holding her fan to Lussuria's neck.

"Fu— Where did _you_ come from? How'd you get in?" Squalo demanded. The office door was shut. And how the hell didn't I notice her? he berated himself.

"Yuki-chan!" Ryan gasped. "Thank heavens— help!" Yuki-chan gave him a disparaging look. "Release him," she ordered Lussuria.

"What if I don't?"

Yuki-chan flicked her wrist. Blood slowly welled up from the slice her fan left on his cheek. "Then I make you."

Lussuria sighed. "Oh, well. Can't catch a break." He loosened his grip and Ryan ducked out of the necrophiliac's embrace and positively scampered away.

"Brave as always, ne? Follow me and _I_ will lead you out," Yuki-chan announced, closing the fan with a snap.

* * *

Belphegor

Prince the Ripper licked the blood from his knife, his Cheshire grin gone. Such weaklings, all of them, wannabe gangsters with their pants hanging down to show their dingy Fruit of the Looms. "The Prince is unhappy," he announced to the frightened man trying to become one with the bricks behind him. "I want a challenge. Where can I fight someone good?"

"Kuh... K-Kur...ro. Kuro! I heard rumors from the guys! Apparently she's really strong! W-works for the Mangena group! But there ain't nobody knows who she is! Cuz, like, she's got a different face each time she goes out. Like a mask, or somethin'. Or maybe it's a bunch of girls usin' the same name. Ain't nobody knows. Bu-but, Kuro's got some freaky shadow business goin' on! Enrique and me saw her once and we saw her walk through a wall, or something. But there ain't nobody believes us cuz they think we were high. But we weren't, not that night. She's gotta be some kinda demon or somethin'. A-anyway!" The man shrunk back at the sight of Belphegor's Cheshire grin returned. "Whoever she is, she's strong! Real strong! You should go find her! I'm no good, no fun to kill!"

"I can't kill Kuro, though," Bel said sadly. "Captain Squalo says we want to bring her back to Italy with us... Ushishi, she's my _date_ tonight! So I need target practice, and you're fair game! I think you're going to be lots of fun! Ready? Fingers go first~!"

Weaklings, all of them. He was looking forward to tonight.

* * *

Bel returned to the hotel a few hours later to find Captain Squalo in a stormy mood. It was very nearly time to go, and his princely clothes were covered in blood (other people's, not his, much to the others' relief) from his playtime, Mammon wouldn't leave until he found the penny he'd lost, and Lussuria couldn't decide what to wear. What with all of the procrastination by everyone, they were almost late. They arrived at the meeting place, but there was no one else in sight. "Captain Squaaaloooooo, what tiiiiiiiime is it?" Bel whined.

"It's 12:04 AM. Vooi, this is really fucking close, you idiots!" Squalo folded his arms against the chill night air and waited.

Must try his patience more. "What time is it nooooooooow?"

"It's _STILL_ 12:04. Shut up and wait, you little shit!"

"Is this person reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally worth it?"

"Yes! She is! Now shut up and wait!"

"Huh. So you really want me for Varia, then?" purred a woman's throaty voice from above. "You were very nearly late!"

"I thought you weren't going to show at all. Kuro no Akumu, I presume?" Squalo said.

"Hn. Yes? No? Maybe so." Everyone turned to look at the speaker, who jumped down from the roof above them, landing quietly and balancing on her toes. She was cloaked and hooded, beneath that clad in a black tank top and slim-fitted black pants tucked inside black knee-high boots. Kuro, indeed.

"Huh. That's pretty much a 'yes', I think," Squalo guessed.

Or is it? "Shishishi, you don't look like much! What's with the black cloak? Did You-Know-Who just get defeated? Or are you playing vampire? Ushishishishi, The Prince thinks you should prove you are who you say you are!"

The figure clad in black chuckled. "You don't believe I'm Kuro? Why not?"

"The Prince heard today that Kuro no Akumu has many faces. Show us yours. Prove you're the real one."

The figure's voice turned sharp. "Heard from the people you slaughtered today? Well. If my word isn't proof enough... Is my sword?" The person was suddenly in front of Bel, and a katana was at his throat. He squinted at the kanji carved into the blade, then up at the woman's face (the person smelled like a woman, at least, like strawberries and creme), trying to see into the shadows of the hood. A smirk curved her lips upward as Lussuria put his hand on her shoulder and Squalo pressed his sword against the side of her neck. "Well, I was going to decline your invitation, but I think I want to beat justice out of Prince the Ripper first. So, since I'm nothing if not balanced and fair, I'll give you all a chance. I promise that I will join Varia... if you can meet my one condition."

"Name it," Squalo said.

The woman's form blurred and disappeared. She re-formed a meter or so away, holding the katana "Kuro no Akumu" and now another, "Kuro no Sakura". Mammon made a noise of frustration from Bel's shoulder, probably wondering how she'd done that. Bel grinned at her. Shadows, indeed.

The woman's answering smile set his blood boiling with excitement. Finally, a challenge. Kuro no Akumu flipped her swords up into the air and made a strange gesture, then caught them as they fell. They burst into black flame.

"It's simple... Catch me before dawn."

* * *

Voila! Chapter One is DONE! It's TEN pages long! As you might be able to tell now, I require at least SOME funny stuff in each of my stories. Otherwise, I feel stifled writing it. Please look forward to the next!

**(1)** As Jo knows, this snippet of song ("Burn It to the Ground" by Nickelback) was the ringtone of my stupidphone several years ago. I'd get a text, it'd go off, and everyone would jump at Chad's screaming. (In the car was the worst) Eventually Mommy made me change it, after Daddy offered to smash my phone. Ah, such good times. LOL!

_**Reviews are the Pixi to my Stix! The writing muse just comes right out! Or maybe it's more like the editing-and-revision-and-OCD-fixating muse... Yeah...**_

_**-chocolatecatcupcakecheese**_


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